we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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