i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
