i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
