i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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