Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
