so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
