I will die if light touches me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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