it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
