So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize