Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
