1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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