i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
