god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
