Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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