I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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