here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
