maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
