I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
