Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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