Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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