i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i think i scared a bird with my dick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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