just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
