Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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