You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
