U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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