just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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