Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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