You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
