I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
