I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
