She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
