Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I need moral support for this bender
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
