I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize