Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
