Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
