For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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