we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
