omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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