my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
