my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
