she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
