I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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