He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
