Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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