just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
