Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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