Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
