dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
