AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize