dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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