I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
