dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
