i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's never too late to be topless.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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