Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
