I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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