mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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